How Could I Ask For More by Cindy Morgan

This may be an old song but it speaks so much to my life!  How many times do we go through life thinking if I get that next promotion or if I get the newest car it will full fill that void in our life.  When in reality those are just things and NOTHING can fill the void in your life but the wonderful, love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!  As I look around my apartment, I may not have much in the way of physical things, but I have what I   NEED!  Thank you Jesus for clean water, a roof over my head and even light's and clothing and food to eat. I am also grateful for the memories and the simple thing's in life that we have each and every day such as the sunrise and the sunset!  How beautiful it is to watch and enjoy!  If you have not done that before you should make a point to do it!

http://youtu.be/q8m9N0xPLNs

You'll have to click the link! :)

Here are the words though

"There's nothing like the warmth of a summer afternoon
Waking to the sunlight, being cradled by the moon
Catching fireflies at night, building castles in the sand
Kissing mama's face goodnight and holding daddy's hand
Thank you, Lord, how could I ask for more?

Running barefoot through the grass, a little hide and go seek
Being so in love that you can hardly eat
Dancing in the dark when there's no one else around
Being bundled 'neath the covers, watching snow fall to the ground
Thank you, Lord, how could I ask for more?

(From: http://www.elyrics.net)
So many things I thought would bring me happiness
Some dreams that are realities today
Such an irony the things that mean the most to me
Are the memories that I've made along the way

So if there's anything I've learned from this journey I am on
Simple truths will keep you going, simple love will keep you strong
'Cause there are questions without answers and flames that never die
And heartaches we go through are often blessings in disguise
So thank you, Lord, oh thank you, Lord
And yeah, how could I ask for more? Ooh"

Songwriter(s):Cindy Morgan
Copyright:Word Music Llc

CHRIS TOMLIN!

I had bought the tickets to go see Chris Tomlin and on the Burning Light's tour March 1st a few weeks ago.  I was very excited to go but a tad sad our seats were not exactly what I had hoped for.  This was my first venture out with the the kids by myself or so I thought it was going to be!  After having an emergency hysterectomy on Monday I was not really in that great of shape to venture into Indy with the kids.  My friend Kim had agreed to go if I could find an extra ticket.  Mind you Banker's Life Field House that night was SOLD OUT!  I called Ticketmaster that morning and talked with the customer service rep. who was very funny but was able to get me 5 tickets in the 24th best seating selection!!!!!! It was stage right!  It was perfect as we were at the top of our section and so I did not have to worry to much about the boys kicking people.  It was their first concert and Lily's second.  A fun time was had by all, the boys fell asleep despite the music being too loud in their world.  I had fun screaming and if the BURNING LIGHTS tour is coming to your city, state or even region, GO! GO! GO!  You will be glad you did!  Kari Jobe, Chris Tomlin, DJ Promte & Loui Giglio are in this tour and it is a CONCERT LIKE NO OTHER!!!! It was actually kind of funny to watch because it was a great mix of older adults and the younger kids.  You see DJ Promte gets the crowd going by doing just what the name imply's DJing it up before the concert starts!!! He was a hoot to watch!  If you have a twitter account you get to send request's for song's for Chris to sing and be prepared to DANCE on GOD'S GREAT DANCE FLOOR!!!! And even if you are a "recovering non-Dancer" as Louie puts it just put a little movement in your feet!  Louie by the way gives a tells a very simple story in a very simple way!  Love his teaching!  And actually he has this really amazing book out entitled "I know I am not but I AM."  That makes ya go hmmmmm......it's an easy read!  I'll post about that later!  I also learned that once you arrive at the destination with three kids as a single mom it can be tiring and you may wonder "why am I doing this" but then I realized that I am teaching my boys especially that even though they may not like going to a concert it was important that we were spending time together.  That is why I DID THAT!!!  Now here are some pictures! :)

 God's Great Dance Floor! 

 Chris did his first ever "costume" change into a Luck jersey!

 LOUIE!!!!!!

 Chris doing what he does BEST!!! Leading worship!

 Light's and stage!

 DJ Promte!!!! BEST THING EVER!!!!!

 Pre show fun!

I pretty much sat holding one of my boys the whole time!  BLISS!

I have heard from several that you are reading my blog!  That makes me stinking excited!  So I am going to make an effort to write more! :)

When Life Throws You A Curve......

WARNING: MEN MAY NOT WANT TO READ!!! 

 This past week has been far from uneventful!  It all started last week when after having a D&C last January it was time for the monthly visit again!  Well, all was well and the D&C was working as it should have been until Friday morning when I work up and had an issue.  I called the doctor at 5a.m. only to be told to take some Ibuprofen and call the office for some medication to help stop the issue at hand.  I got to the pharmacy to have to wait for them to open at 8a.m.  What happened to places being open BEFORE and AFTER when the rest of the world has to work????  Well, I ran to work explained to my supervisor what was going on and that I would be back.  I went back took the medicine and some Ibuprofen to have the flow stop slightly but I was still white as a sheet from loosing so much ahhhhmmmmmm blood.  My very wonderful Thrifty neighbor at work watched me all day.  I had to stay until 5:15 to make up for lost time coming in.  When I left I needed to run an errand but first with out a stop to the little girls room.  To which I found a greater loss and the medicine was now NOT working.  I drove to Nobelsville to grab a couple pairs of dress paints and jeans.  I went into Old Navy, asked the clerk for a pair of jeans in my size, paid for them.  While paying for them the I asked the young male clerk (1st mistake) if I could put them on after paying for them and where the bathroom was.  The very nice male clerk said "why do you want to put on different jeans?  You already have jeans on!"  I said I was just tired of wearing the jeans and did not want to mortify this young male clerk with the details of why I really needed to change!  He even went as far to ask if "I had a date!!"  Um...yeah...NOOO!!!!!!  So, I rant to JcPenny's grabbed my pants which to my delight were on SALE!!! Yahoo!!! Not going to complain about that one! :)  Then I ran to get gas (for the car), and was not feeling so hot and just knew things were NOT right!  I called my doc who hemmed and hawed about what to do because it was the weekend and he just didn't want to do surgery.  He told me to go home, rest, eat something and rest some more.  So, I went to Wendy's all the while in Noblesville grabbed something to eat, got back on I-69 towards Anderson.  I was just not having staying all night in my apartment ALONE.  What if I got to the point where my hemoglobin was too low?  All the What If's ran through my mind.  So, what do I do...I stop at Meijer to grab a couple of pair of sweat pants and other items so I could at least be clean!  Yes, I know again TMI but this is my blog and my account kind of like a birth story with out the baby!  After Meijer things were just not feeling great so I drove to the ER in Anderson to where I was treated fabulously and quickly!  They drew my blood, typed it, gave me a shot and I hung tight.  Remember I had just eaten an hour earlier so ANY possibility of surgery was OUT!  So, with the ER doc, Dr. Blake and others the decision was made to put me in the hospital over night to observe and getting bleeding under control.  I think I would have been kicking and screaming if they had sent me home!  My blood pressure and vitals were all in the low normal range.  My blood pressure always run's low anyways.  So, Saturday morning my hemoglobin was down to 9.3 not dangerously low but not ok.  I got up and ate and made sure it was going up before Dr. Blake and I decided that I could go home.  My mom came down, rescued me and took me home.  Dr.  Blake is a really awesome doctor and I am blessed to have him as my GYN during this time in my life.   He came up to the hospital on Saturday to see me and we decided that we could wait to do surgery until Monday.  This was a tough call but since bleeding was under control and my mom was there he was ok with it plus he wanted to go into surgery with HIS or staff which I totally respect and get!  So, Monday I went in for Outpatient Laproscopic Hysterectomy.   Now, I had to be typed for blood again because I had taken off my wrist band and it had been 90 hours since the last time.  The lady came in to stick me and let me tell you there was something about here that I just did not like!  She came in looked me over because here I am a 34 year old women having this procedure done.  One thing I learned was that female issues know NO age!  She looked at my arm veins which had already been poked a lot!  I said you can try there but PLEASE don't dig!  She promised she would not....my thought is there are always more veins to pick from...please save me the pain of digging!!!  When she popped the needle off I mentioned that is a pretty large needle!  She said it's normal but I CAN NOT SEE!!!!! I thought then what in the world are YOU doing drawing my blood!  I joked and said maybe we should move to where the light was brighter.  She just poked that puppy in and HIT A NERVE!!!!!! I have had a lot of blood drawn and NEVER in my adult life have I CRIED like I did.  That pain shot all the way down to my thumb.  I still have some tingly feeling with it but it is getting better.  I went into surgery wide awake after asking for the happy medicine before.  My anesthesiologist kept asking why they didn't give and I said they got busy and Dr. Blake came in just before I was wheeled in here.  So, it took him a big longer to get me to happy land and I really don't like being awake in the OR when I am anticipating having a tube down my throat.  I HAVE NEVER though been awake for that part and I hope and pray I NEVER will be!!!!!!  Dr. Blake came in as I was being put to sleep.  I woke up and was done.  The surgery was a bit more painful due, more like a c-section but with out the baby.  In many ways I am relieved that I am DONE with that phase of my life and don't have to worry about it anymore but on the same side I am a bit sad....wait NO I AM NOT! :)  Well, next time will be a post about Worshiping with My Kids at the Chris Tomlin Concert tomorrow night!!!!!!

 

Happy 6th Birthday to my loving, wiggly, temper filled, funny, caring, never gone leave mommy baby boy!

Your birthday was actually on February 8th!  You decided to come bursting into our lives 8 days early!  When you came out from an emergency c-section all I remember saying was he looks just like "Grandpa" Cobb!  You are named after him so it was fitting!  You have brought much joy and cuddles!  This year you started Kindergarten.  I think you tolerate it but would rather be at home.  You tell me every day how you are never going to leave and live with me forever!  I tell you that I am sure some day you will find a girl that will steal your heart!  I know you stole mine!

Seven years ago.......

 Seven years ago I was waking up each morning in the PICU to a very loud and robutust laugh from a very caring and amazing PICU nurse!  Her name was Shelia and at first it was annoying because it was at 6a.m. but I slowly over the course of three weeks grew to look forward to her laugh out in the hall.  So, much has changed and for that I am grateful!  Timmy was just 6 weeks old.  On the ventilator fighting for his life!  On this particular morning seven years ago Dr. Floreze was the bearer of bad nurse all week long!  Here was my new baby boy lying hooked up to all these machines and Dr comes in and says he has MRSA.  Say what?????  At this time it was not out in the news as to what MRSA was and I am glad I did not fully understand what it was at that point.  It made me worry a little less. On this day seven years ago I knew I had a sick baby but I remember Dr. Williamson our then Superident calling as we had the phone on speaker phone praying over Timmy.  Praying that he was created for much more than this!  I held tight to that prayer.  I am glad that the Lord gave Timmy back to us!  He is a fun, loving and caring boy!  I don't ever, ever wish to go back to that horrible day seven years ago but God brought us through and has made me stronger because of it.

Psalm 91

I am claiming this verse as MINE for the next year

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

 will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the Lord,

 'He is my refuge and my fortress. my God, in whom I trust'

Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare

 and from the deadly pestilence.

He will cover you with his feathers,

 and under his wings you will find refuge;

his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,

nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness

 nor the plague that destroys at midday.

A thousand may fall at your side,

 ten thousand at your right hand,

 but it will not come near you.

You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment 

of the wicked.

If you make the Most High your dwelling-- 

even the Lord, who is my refuge--

then no harm will befall you,

 no disaster will come near your tent.

  For he will command his angels concerning you

 to guard you in  all your ways; 

they will lift you up in their hands,

 so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

  You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;

 you will trample the great lion and the serpent

. "Because HE LOVES ME," says the Lord, 

"I will rescue him;"

I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;

 I will be with him trouble,

 I will deliver him and honor him,

 with long life will I satisfy him 

and show him my salvation."

Divorce

Say it ain't true.  It is!  Not you guys!  Yup!  It's true!  It's happening!  Some may have seen it coming, others may have thought we were the farthest from divorcing.  But the time has come for Josh and I to go our seperate ways.  Yes, we know we will have to continue functioning as parents to three beautiful children!  We can do that!  We can be kind for our children.  We all though can not continue to be married to each other.  Many may question well what happened?  Who did what?  NONE OF THAT MATTERS!!!!!!!! I am not hear to air our dirty laundry.  If YOU or YOU or YOU have questions than feel free to email me at jjljohnson2003@yahoo.com and ask away and I will answer to the best of my ability!  The kids don't know and won't know until we feel it is the best time to tell them.  My friend and mentor Judy told me and encourages me to FINISH WELL!!!! And that is what I am working on doing.  Josh is working on this as well.  We are both taking care of issues that we know we both have to help us to become a better friend, mom, and hopefully spouse one day again.  I do believe that is possible.  This has nothing to do with the recent loss of my dad.  He knew about this before he died.  I know some may be surprised as I often said OVER AND OVER again that I WOULD NEVER EVER EVER in a million years get divorced.  Whelp it is happening and the one thing I ask is that YOU and You and yes even YOU would pray for Josh and I as we continue on this journey.  The one thing I can think of is GRACE.  How can you have a GRACE FILLED Divorce?  You don't sit and point fingers at each other for all the wrong that was done.  You make a choice to do what is best for each other and for the kids.  You move on knowing you ended well.  I can NOT undo what has been done but I can CHANGE my future!  I am excited to see where God leads that future.  I don't know what it will look like.  I do know these few things.  I will be moving out to an apartment in New Castle.  I will continue working.  I will continue to an active parent in my kids lives.  I will continue to be in school working towards my Office Administration degree with Elementary Education classes sprinkled through out.  My goal is to graduate in December 2014.  In my perfect world I would move to Lafayette and work at Purdue and get my Elementary Ed degree there but my plan is not always God's plan.  I am doing very well and have peace about the future.