Stronger

Sadness.....you may wonder why in the world would I write a post that basically is a pity part for myself, well to get my feelings written out and so that I can remember or forget this time.  Either way it is an account of a journey that I am on.  As Easter comes upon us I am filled with joy, sadness, thankfulness, and other emotions. But right now I am focusing on the sadness.  For the past 10 years we have almost always had folks over for a big ham dinner after church.  It was either family, or friends that didn't have any "family" to go to.  I am not wanting you to feel bad for me.  I am going to be stronger because of this and Jesus will be at my dinner whether that is a salad or ham on Sunday.  It just has me saddened thinking that this Easter there will be no big dinner, no sink filled with dirty dishes from too much food made, there will not be left over's for weeks, there will not be any of this.  This is a new chapter.  Family member's have passed away, kids will be with their dad and my brother will be flying home from Singapore.  On day's like today I wish I could run as far away as possible.  Where I don't know but just some where any where but here! But I will over come this sadness.  I am grateful for my church's Maundy Thursday dinner.  It was fabulous   I am grateful that I have a place to worship and is becoming home!  I am blessed to have a home and food to eat!  But yet I long for on these holiday's to have that sink full of dirty dishes for someone else to wash! :)  That means there was laughter, friends, and family!  That time will come as the seasons change!